Journal 32: Free Write

ok, i love this journal like, superb cause the most amazing thing happened to me yesterday at night. Im pretty sure i wasnt on drugs or getting high or any of that shit. i had the best and i swear to god the best the most realistic dreams i have ever had before.
So it started out with me going out of my room and saw that the front door was open. I went inside Robert's room and asked him why didn't you close the door? and Richard was like (cause today richard just happen to sleep over at the same time and his in the dream too!?) don't you know? the news said there's going to be a heat wave at midnight or sth. I was like seriously!? so should i open my window for my room to get warm or something? there were like yeah!!
so then i went to open the window and then BAM
and dont remember anything else other than that.
then goes on to the really good dream
the memory starts where i was holding a really like, kind of shy, hot, but not the latino kind of hot with all that curves and everything. She's blonde, hair to the shoulder, cute, body with curves, figure a B almost a C.
we were hiding in the closet of a family party of i dont know who. Shy, i was the leading idea and taking her out guy and we went kissing. After that is all kinds of places that we went to together and hugging and just like a couple. Dam, she was so hot and so heartwarming i have no idea where i met such a girl.
the thing is, i've never met this girl before, not even on the streets or the movie before if i did, i would've remember her face and body for a long time.
then i was taking a nap and she woke me up
then i woke up, Robert told me im about to be late, its 7:40 and i had to dash out without breakfast. Dam i wish i could just sleep and live my life with her.
she was incrediblely sweet and sensible of my needs. She's perfect. like, the perfect girlk i would want to meet and marry. I don't know if god gave me this dream to go look for this girl? i don't know, i just thought to be romantic to go search up for this girl but also really tiring if i never get to find her, but i wish, i do find this girl
its so strange, the dream was so incredibly true. I could picture myself and feeling her kiss, our body hugged in the closet and her face just so clearly and real. I've never had dreams as true as this one at all. It was just like, really true and real when i kill zombie but i dont actually feel the touch and stuff. i could sense fear and sweat, but not the realistic and love touching of a dam kiss!!
god that was a good dream, i just wish i never have to wake up.

Journal 30: Extra Curricular Activities

I think i did quite alot of stuff in the past, i guess :
Tai Ji Men for 8 years
performance for 4 years
Energy Dance
practiced chinese drums and formations for a, i don't know how to explain it, just know that i performed at the front of the taipei government building on 10 10

taekwando for 4 years
i went to camps every summer
participated in numerous college level classes along with adults in critical thinking classes such as in Cal Poly

Swimming since i was freaking kindergarden
participated in 3 years of competition every February and September

community service at the local library for fun and meeting new people

camps such as adtrology camp when i was 7th grade or sth, 8th grade i went to a camp for kids that are not so wealthy. Made alot of friends and saw alot of new things in life.

i joined a community service camp before, it was quite short
martial arts, 8 years as well
drawing classes and stuff
japanese sword, 劍道i dont know the english name

musical for two years, end of the year performances in school, dont know if that ocunts
i did a bit of music and beats
photography
not sure if there's anything else, AH!
i had a shakepeare contest and got first place



So in the end, the things i will write about is Tai Ji Men (which is like a mix of martial arts and meditation)
Swimming
Taekwando
yeah, thatas abut it

Journal 29: Valentines

what does love mean? this is a hard and long thinking question. i have so much to say about love, strange, i suddenly don't know where to start. i'm expierencing quite alot lately with this love thing. Love is a bittersweet thing, when both sides work out, its sweet, but when one side didn't work out, everything falls apart. Doesn't just mean in romance, it means in bromance, sistermance, family love, or basically any love. If one gives out their heart for the other one, and they have nothing in return, it becomes extremely bittersweet. I believe, love between two people could be identify as your willingness to sacrifice yourself for the other one. It doesn't mean you have to sacrifice all to have love, you can have love, but to determine how much you love him or her depends on the amount of sacrifice you're willing to give out.
I sacrificed my time, energy, money, and all of my heart for a girl, but in return was nothing.
love is a strange thing, when you devout yourself to that one person, a simple smile or glance could start your mind with all kinds of guess and signals. I don't know how to explain all my thoughts in words over here. I've thought too much stuff about this love and expression over the past few years and i find love have a deep connection in trust. Trusting others and devouting your whole in trusting another.
If you love someone, that means you're willing to give up everything you have for her, and they are willing to give up everyhting they have for you as well. love is a two way thing. If both are willing to sacrifice evenly, then we have love. The ones that i believe are truly beautiful, because neither side are giving too much and feeling unreturned. blah, i don't know how to express this in plain words

Journal 28: Sources?

My issue have only one source, and that’s the powerpoint about the artist Ai Wei Wei by a Taiwanese artist that did a presentation during his Ai Wei Wei’s exhibit. All the information I need is in the powerpoint that I got down. Starting from the history of China, the censorship, and the other actions that the government did. It got everything I need, the only extra thing I might have to research about the relationship with Taiwan and China.

I have the main censorship down, but that’s more of a personal issue rather than in the international sense. In the international sense, I need to search up extra specific events where there’s bad habits of Chinese exposed or abuses. I have Japanese abusing Taiwanese with the lately news of Makiyo, but no Chinese news of Taiwan really significant. I think I might have to search up old news to find a report like this. There’s other views of the China and Taiwan situation on the level of preserving the history of a country is one of them. However, I’m not sure if I will include that inside my essay since it might lead my main point of censorship to something else. I could either stay with censorship or focus on the part of relationship between the two country.

Journal 27: Personal, But Not Selfish

i don't think my topic have the problem that the other people have. My issue consists of multiple levels. My personal concerns are the issues in censorship and the right of freedom of speech. In a extent to that, it talks about national issues where the unification of China and Taiwan worries me and the people. Why? because China might put restrictions on the internet service and much more things once their in charge. If that happens there would be a violation of the freedom of speech that we, the citizens of Taiwan use to have. Then, as an artist, or hope to be an artist for my career, make art works against this idea. My art works are responses to the censorship and oppressing government and can express freely of what i want to say.
My topic talks about the personal aspect first, then to the national aspect, concerns for other, and last the personal aspect and future. I believe my issue does not talk about myself too much since its more of a connection again and again linking everything together. So in one essay, i talked not just personal issue or just local issue, instead, i have a combination of numerous things.
I'm still quite thinking of what personal anecdote i should include. I actually started this idea when i felt pushed and treated the school. It started with the shouting and the wave of dislike of the seniors. That's when i felt that the school is going down a spiral. Then, i got locked out, that was the thing that marked the end of silence. I decided i was not going to be pushed around like an idiot anymore. Now, My ideas and works revolves around the idea of rising up and fighting for yourself. Speak up and raise your voice, then you will be noticed.I guess for the personal anecdote, i might well just include my idea behind my artwork. However, i think i might even write two copies. One for Pamela for the concealing of my rebellious idea and another one where i express it completely so the admissions know what my real idea is and how worldly or innovative i am, things like that.