Journal 19: The Hardest Part

This is a thinking journal for me, i might just throw whatever idea i have on this page.
christine
turtle monster
dennis - he opened my route to art. If it weren't for his fun and moody teaching i expierenced from 8th to 9th grade, i probably wouldn't be considering to become a artist. He gave me a clear goal on what i should do. Besides giveing me a clear goal, he had always been a good counselor for me in my social and personal life. His humor and craziness affected everyone beside him, that definitely included me.

Louis - orderly and cleansiness. My room, my life, and my world were all put in place and begin thinking about my future when he asked me the question of what are you going to do when you grow up.

Michael - childhood best friend, he was the one that taught me responsibilities, freindship, trust, introspection, posstiusty, team work, and leadership. Before i met him, i was the one escaping taking up work or hiding around other people. Staying in a year with him in school and the organization Tai Ji Men got me learning from him. What did he do? he was the leader in our class, he had to organize numerous events in different places and the one that was able to call everybody's attention.
His leadership was awe inspring to me, he shows concern and love for everybody. I changed from that into someone who talks to everyone, introduce myself in public to new students and eager to make every student or new comer at a place to feel like at home.
He was the one that taught me to look into myself, reflect on the things i done wrong. Know your mistakes, so that you won't be doing the same thing again. Patience from listening and thinking, or i would have been even worse than now
Zhu hsin hou - trust and forgiveness, much is needed for him, but he is a mystery to me for now, might take him off the list.

o shit, just now i realized the other guy is my dad, or more so his one sentence, what is the life you wanna give your wife and kids, one like what you're having now? or is it one of a normal family in a condo or maybe even a trashed place?
about it for now.

Journal Entry 15: Disappointment

no joke, i always draw a chart and jot down my ideas before i start my essays. I usually use a bubble chart to start. However, my bubble charts are not going in the order of main idea and then to details. Sometimes i start with one main point and then into the main idea. I usually scribble down any idea i have or anything that come into my mind that have significant or little resemblance. These method helped me on coming up with the details of the topic first. The main idea or topic could basiacally be a fancy title of the ideas that i have on the paper. I work from small to big, rather than big to small.
Some might say its easier to work from big to small, but the time that you delayed your thoughts from pouring freely actually limit the amount of stuff you can put in. My idea is that you have everything on the table, and i mean EVERYTHING
Then, you take your own pick on what is it that you think would make use and can be used. With this, you don't let your idea to leave your head. You might be thinking, ah, thats a good idea, ill write it down once im done with the main idea of the essay. Once you finish the main idea of the essay, you can't remember what was it that you were going to put again.

Journal Entry 11: Worms

this is a easy journal for me, i have quite alot of bad days recently. With the stress that my SAT isn't high enough, i have no idea on what i want to do in the future. Well, to be more precise i don't know which specific route i will take. I have quite alot of different routes that i can choose to excel in.
How i take care of some of my stress is by shouting or releasing my anger. DOing sports is a great way to release anger. You excercise all your strength on delivering a fast and tiring meter run in the water. YOu have a blood thristing brawl with my taekwando mates.
Listening to music also help me release my pain. I listen to soothing music that changes my mood from angry to sad. With sadness, i change pretty rapidly. My dont hang around with my emotions of being sad and mellowy the whole day.
SHouting your anger out to the world helps too. Its like riding a rollar coaster. When you are on a rollar coaster, you get pressure from allsides and you become really tense up. You scream to yell out the fear and the air in your lungs so that you don't get pressure as much.

Journal Entry 12: Learning Experience?

The reason for me in choosing this dorm expierence life is because it really changed me. There's lots of people in my life that changed me, but to a specific expierence that changed me? i really couldn't think about one. The dorm life was significant to me because it was a totally new expierence. I have never lived in the dorms or alone outside before. It was after living and learning from them that changed my habits and personality to someone that is much more natured and can handle my own things. When writing about this significant expierence and thinking about what event i should write, i really had no idea. The specific moment that i actually realize they changed me so much was when i was brainstorming for this topic. Other than that, not really. I made up the part about my realization that my change is when i was cleaning up my things. There really wasn't much i was thinking about when i was cleaning up (you have to read my essay to know what am i talking about).
This whole expierence was a process, im rewriting this event to fit the college app. As for my own self reflection, the one big reflection i got out of it is to realize the best year in my highschool life and the three influential people in my life.

Journal Entry 13: Influential Person

Influential person are all over my life. I mean, to compare my old self to me now, like, right now, its just two totally different person. I might be really friendly to everyone when i was little, but not as now where i basically know everybody. The person that i was going to do is Louis, but after looking at all the list of people i have, i can't really decide. For Louis, his attitude and coolness to everything changed me. Out of the three people that changed me, the one that changed me into a independent person is Louis. His the side of Logic and reason out of Luke and Jed. Then is Christine, her passion inspired greatly. Besides Christine for the passion person, my friend Turtle monster, a artist that i met online also showed me great passion. Their love in what they like totally changed my view of things that you like. I mean, if you want to be passionate about something, they would be my role model. Are you as passionate as them? or are you just, okok with what ever you are doing now. Dennis Potter, the one that opened my view in the artistic side. He made me love art, he was the one that opened the door of creativity in my life. I know Pamela hates him, and he probably would stop me from writing him as a influential person. Zhu Hisn Hau, a mystrious graduate i know when i was back in elementary school. He was like, THE role model for me. He was one of the popular guys in school. He was one of the older school mates that is willing to hang out with me. Numerous incidents happened that led me to the belief of him as a inspirational person to me. He protected me from bullys qutie alot of times. He was also the one that inspired me in learning Taekwando. If it weren't for him, i wouldn't touch martial arts. Michael Shih, a childhood friend of mine in middle and high school back in the U.S. He was the one that rebuilt my confidence everytime i was crushed. I had terrible basketball skills back in Middle school. He taught me basketball skills, stayed after school for me and taught me homework, sports, and games. Back in that time, he was a straight A student and the top basketball player the school can have. However, right now, he stopped his basketball, he stopped his grades into a c average. Sigh, i don't know what happened to him, i wish he could get back up as my hero again. Bad and influential person? definitely One is Duncan, the cool guy in my elementary years. He was the one that call me when he needed me, and threw me away when he don't need me. He bullied me before in elementery years, and i had to be in the same middle school when i came back to Taiwan. He was a bad influenec to me not just in bullying me. He did some nasty shit to me, and made me do some nasty shit to other people. he smokes, skips schools, in a gang, basically any kind of wrong and illegal stuff he done it before. He uses the money of his grandfather to survive, and he got kicked out of school last year. Currently in Canada.

Journal Entry 3: No Big Thing

To start this journal, i have to say that today's event is the opposite from my last journal. The last journal was about me suffered in a car accident in extremem horrific circumstances. Today, is the actual event that happened to my small car crash of me and my friend's family. It started from us driving down a crossroad while me and my friends were chatting. When we cross the street with our car, a car rammed from the side into us. It may sound incredibly dangerous, but the actual event was just a loud noise, and then nothing else. I was sitting on the side of the door that was hit, i just shook a little bit and it was over. We parked our car at the side to examine the damage while my friend's mom called for agents. The one who rammed into us was a Mexican family i believe. Im not being racist, just clarifying who hit us. While we waited for the agents, the family was shouting and talking in mexican, and we were quite puzzled as they fought quite fiercly. Once the agent came, the family started saying how we were wrong for breaking the rules, and that they smashed into our car caused a injury in her grandmother's neck. Well, clearly they were fighting a second before this, so i beleive nmothing really happened. The debate between the agent, police and the family became so interesting, me and my friend went across the street for ice cream cone. We sat down by a little bench beside and look at how the mexican family were talking with hand gestures, saliva flying everywhere, clearing things out. It was quite hilarious, but it really isn't a event that you would tell your friend to for significant. That was the reason why i never bought it up.